Last Night

Last night…

I played with a beautiful, four year old girl in the South Bronx. When her mother became pregnant at 17, everyone told her to abort. Except me. The due date was at the end of May but I maintained that she would be born on my birthday, May 2, as a sign from God that He was smiling. She was. On May 2, 2006, God smiled.

Last night…

I sat in a South Bronx apartment with a disheartened 22 year old mother that just failed the test you take to get into the pre-GED classes. Her math skills tested at the 3^rd grade level. In high school, the only equations she was working out related to adding up how many friends had now been killed on the block or subtracting the number of days  she heard from either of her parents from the number or dollars she had to divide between herself & her little brother.  Needless to say, she never did like math. I know this because I began mentoring her when she was 12. Every week a handful of girls and boys just like her would come to that apartment as I opened up the Word of God and taught them about the Father they never knew. She, of course, is the mother of a 4 year old girl born on May 2^nd, whose eyes reflect the smile of God

Last night…

I stood on a corner in the South Bronx with a 23 year old young man that I’ve known since he was 12. I remember when his entire upper body was burned but he couldn’t go to a hospital. I remember how he cried and told me of his mother’s death and the father he never knew. I remember how scared he was when the grandmother that singlehandedly took care of him and his four cousins, was diagnosed with cancer. I remember how all of the children in that house called him “daddy” because none of them knew their own. I’ll never forget the day I discovered they were all living on rice.  No one was surprised when he began taking and selling drugs or when his anger became explosive. Last night, he asked me to take a walk with him and in between pulls off his joint, he expressed to me that I was the only person in his life that he’d ever been able to talk to. He asked me, “Have you ever asked God why…why he made you drawn to me like, why he wanted you to love me out of all the kids in this hood?”  I don’t have time to tell you my answer. But he, of course, is the father of a 4 year old girl born on May 2^nd, whose eyes reflect the smile of God

Last night…

I left the South Bronx and walked the streets of a neighborhood where I used to minister to homeless teenagers, many of whom were prostituting to survive. I watched as a grey-haired man decided which young boy he wanted to pick up. I stared into the darkened eyes of a boy who hoped I might be there for “business”.  I was somehow able to fight back the tears, and for this reason, I am deeply grieved.

Last night…

I needed desperately to be close to Jesus, so I went searching in the one place I’ve always been able to find Him: among the least of these. I began the day feeling deeply alone but, by 1 a.m. I felt the heart of God racing wildly within me as His tears became mine. There are a lot of things and people in this life that I have lost; that’s life. The one thing I cannot afford to ever let go of is God’s heart. Some would say that I am crazy and continually put myself in danger; I suppose I can’t contest. It’s just that, to me, there is a greater danger that I fear. I would rather lose my life than to lose His heart

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~ by oraia on September 29, 2010.